Say Nothing – A Power Skill

SAYING NOTHING – A POWER SKILL

By Dr. Denny Coates

Both my sons are in their 50s, still pursuing highly successful careers in information technology. I check in with them often, and when I do, I make an effort to communicate effectively. I try to be aware of moments when a particular skill will work best for me—as I do with friends, other family members, and business associates. During a recent conversation, I was reminded of something important. Often, the best response is to not respond—saying nothing. There were moments when I felt the urge to give advice, to debate, or to give feedback. But instead, I just let him do the talking.

“In the heat of the moment, choose your battles. Sometimes saying nothing is the smartest thing you can do.”

It worked like a charm; it was the most effective thing I could have done. No argument. No implication of criticism. Nothing to push us apart. Just a nonverbal signal that I was thinking about what my son had said.

Saying nothing is a powerful, underappreciated skill.

Instead of reacting, just listen, and let them know nonverbally that you’re hearing and considering what they have to say.

And if you feel you really must say something, ask an open-ended question. Instead of saying, “That doesn’t sound like a good idea,” say “What do you think will happen if you do that?” And then follow up with listening to understand, or a follow-up question, such as “If that happens, how would you feel about that?” But let saying nothing be your lead.

Learn more about listening and asking open-ended questions in Chapters 4 and 5 of Connect with Your Team.

Connect with Your Team

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell

Order from Amazon

122: Making the Most of Your Moments

Would You Rather Argue or Have a DIALOGUE?

333: The Go-Giver Approach to Leadership

What if the secret to success is giving more? In this episode, Meredith Bell speaks with Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver, about why shifting your focus to consistently providing value leads to greater fulfillment and profitability. Bob explains the Five Laws of Stratospheric Success and how they apply to entrepreneurs, leaders, and teams.

You’ll come away inspired by Bob’s deep insights on value-based leadership, the true meaning of influence, and why receptivity is just as important as giving. Whether you’re growing a business or leading a team, this conversation will challenge your assumptions and equip you with timeless, practical wisdom.

The Go-Giver has sold well over a million copies and has been translated into 30 languages. Bob has created The Go-Giver Academy online learning portal featuring The Go-Giver® Success Vault, which includes all of his online courses and other business-building resources.

Bob is an advocate, supporter, and defender of the Free Enterprise system, believing that the amount of money one makes is directly proportional to how many people they serve.