013: Simplify Your Message to Explode Your Income
How do you become the trusted advisor with your clients for life? My guest Jeff Moore has succeeded in doing just that in a highly competitive industry. Jeff is a brilliant marketer who helps his clients simplify their description of who they are to their audience so it’s easy for people to quickly “get” the benefit of their product or service. This interview is packed with usable gold nuggets that can help you create unforgettable and remarkable experiences for your clients.
- The real reasons your clients choose to do business with you
- How to create business friendships that last for decades
- The ValYOU Discovery Session that helps you identify your own value
- How to ask questions that help you understand the other person and create a strong bond
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Welcome back to another episode of Strong for Performance. I’m Meredith bell, your host and I am just so excited to have with me today, someone who is a very special person and entrepreneur. Jeff Moore. Jeff, welcome.
Thank you. It’s an honor to be here, and you and I go back a lot of years.
Let’s not say how many!
I’ve been a fan of Jeff’s for quite a while because he’s such a smart marketer and salesperson. He is currently the director of seafood and business development for Global Protein Group, which is a division of Porky Products. What size is that company? 5 billion?
No, a little over 2 billion.
They just are a fantastic group.
Well, one of the things I want to brag on you about that you probably wouldn’t say for yourself is that, in less than a month, Jeff took the sales of this group that he’s in charge of from 5 million to $18 million. Now, that is really significant, and we want to go a little bit deeper about how did that happen. But meanwhile, I want to, just his background, let our listeners know that in addition to running that business development unit, you also involved with a Mastermind that includes high level consultants and coaches. Your focus with that group for your own role with them is helping them with their messaging and positioning. That’s a real strong area of expertise for you, and we’re going to go into that in more detail today in our conversation. But to start with Jeff, I want you to give us a little bit more about your journey. What has happened to you over the years in your progression here as an entrepreneur?
It’ll be real fast and I’ll go through it. But, my entire life I always knew that I was meant to be in sales, and I was, from early on, even in elementary school when we would do the fundraisers, I’ll never forget coming home, I think I might’ve been in third grade. I had the candle box, we were selling candles as a fundraiser. I was showing them to my dad and I had the box tilted so I could read the candles. He goes, “Wait a minute,” he goes, “Set that in your lap.” I’m like, “Okay,” and there’s the pictures and all the verbiage about the candles beneath me upside down. He goes, “Step one in being a salesperson,” he goes, “You need to learn how to read upside down.” “What? I’m having a hard enough time reading right side up.”
It was always that point where I grew up with a father that was a dynamic sales leader in food service. My grandfather was one of the first guys to create the time motion studies in retail and was just a super dynamic guy, was actually given the Pepsi Cola bottling franchise from a conversation. I had a lot of pedigree growing up with these people. In seventh grade, this young entrepreneur, he was a junior in high school, hired me as a friend of the family and he was making about $10,000 a month in his summer business. He was an entrepreneur, and hired me to be one of his door to door salespeople in seventh grade where I was making like $300 a week selling lawn aeration, which is something out here in Southern California with the hard soils that we have.
But love that, love having been in the conversations. I actually still know the pitch, it was one of those things, and just really got the bug and learned a lot from him. He’s been a mentor of mine and like a figurative big brother for a lot of years. Just always had that gift of wanting to entertain and educate. As a produce man, people would come by and ask for what kind of fruit or melon this is. There was an old guy on the news way back when called the Green Grocer, his name was Joe Carcione, and it would be a segment in the news, and he had this great voice, and it would be like, “Hi, this is Joe Carcione with your Green Grocer tip of the day.”
Well, I’m 16 years old. Somebody comes up, ask me what this is, and I would break into a Joe Carcione impression for these people. Everybody knew who he was at the time. It’s an old thing, and ages me, but just everything was that way for me. I always knew I was going to be in sales. I was able to… I worked my way through college, even as a bartender, I started my own bartending service, called More Good Times Bartending Service and had the… As far as marketing goes, there was the tagline, “A professional bartender can add that special touch of class to give your guests a lasting memory of a fine affair.” Doing all the things. But I always wanted to know, “Why do people care? Why do people hire somebody? What would be that thing that would separate me from everything?”
I would have all the bullet points about specialty drinks and all this type of stuff, and the very last thing that I had, my last bullet point in bold and bigger type was, complete party cleanup, and people would just hire me for that. I actually… In college… I’ll tell you a quick story, and I know we don’t have a lot of time. But one morning, it’s a Friday morning. Everybody’s partying on Thursday nights, I went to UCLA. I get a phone call, and I answer the phone, and I’m like, “Hello,” still out of it. It’s like, “Hi Jeff, this is Barbara Billingsley.” Well, if you don’t know who Barbara Billingsley was, it was Mrs. Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver. I’m like, “It is not.” She’s like, “But it is.” I’m like, “Oh my gosh.” I’m like, “Leave it to Beaver, starring Barbara Billingsley, Hugh Beaumont, Tony Dow, and Jerry Mathers as the Beavers.” She’s like, “Oh my God.”
Well, she saw a flyer of my complete party cleanup and hired me to just do her Christmas Eve dinner for her family, and to pull this stuff out of the oven and do all this kind of stuff, and I’m making hundreds of dollars a night. I’m like, “This is awesome and just…” But then I started to figure out, “Hey, wait a minute. Do I want to be the guy that’s serving the meal, or do I want to be the guy that’s hiring the guy that serves the meal?” It was just a thing where, I just have always had that entrepreneurial spirit no matter what I did, no matter where I worked. I always had a drive that would position myself differently.
Fast forward in sales and marketing, and I was president of a seafood company and just… The adult next level entrepreneur thing, and marketing thing, came when Tony Robbins did his Ultimate Business Mastery summit back in 2009. It was, what is now Business Mastery, but it was Chet Holmes and Tony Robbins doing their first thing out in Vegas, and I attended. That was the first time I ever met a young, brash Jersey kid by the name of Gary Vaynerchuk that literally changed everybody’s perspective that night. I started this thing after that because they had a home study course. I told some friends of mine, I said, “Hey, I’m going to do this home study course. Come over with me on a Thursday night after work at seven o’clock. Be there, don’t be there. I don’t care. I’m going to get better.”
Four people showed up one night. We watched Vaynerchuck’s keynote, we talked about it, and I help people understand what it meant to them and really told their story better than they could to themselves at that point. It grew from four to eight, to… I mean, I think there’s now just under 800 people from 26 countries in Thursday Night Boardroom, totally free, but I got to meet some of the greatest people on the planet. Fast forward, I had my own seafood company. We sold my seafood company to a company out of Miami. I don’t think they really knew what they were doing, and it turns out that, that wasn’t going to be where I wanted to stay, and so I left the company.
September of last year I started with Global Protein Group with $0 in sales. We went from zero to 5 million by February, September to February we were doing 5 million annualized. That really was the testament at that point, was the relationships that I had built over the 20 years or 17 years that I was president, and the 20 years that I was in this business. The relationships were beyond, they transcended transaction. My customers always knew that I had an obligation to present options, opportunities, and offers on everything they did, whether it was mine or not. That was a positioning thing, right? They always knew that they could say, “Hey Jeff, I need some information.” They knew that it wasn’t going to end up in this hardcore sales pitch or whatever. It was, “Hey, this is great.”
When I left, I had Cheesecake Factory as one of my customers, and BJ’s Restaurants as one of my customers, and House of Blues, and Lazy Dog. All these different restaurant chains are contracts that I’ve had over the years forever.
When I left and Cheesecake Factory called me up and said, “We’re going to go with you, and we’re going to go with you now,” because the previous company that I sold to really wasn’t servicing them well. I go, “Gosh, this is going to be…” It was really telling because I’m like, “Well this is really challenging. It’s December. It’s all this stuff,” I’m thinking out loud. She stopped me and she goes, “Jeff, do you know why we do business with you?” I said, “Because I’m cute?” She’s like, “No.” She goes, “You don’t make your problems our problems. You make our problems, your problem, and then you come up with the solution. We’re supporting you, we’re giving you our business. We’re not telling you that we’re expecting the world, but we want you to fix it. Whatever’s broken, you fix it, and that’s what you’ve always been. The level of trust we’ve had with you for over 17 years is literally that,” and-
Stop a second, Jeff. This is a really important point that I want our listeners to think about for themselves, because in the corporate world these days, there’s constant turnover in people in various positions. Someone that you’ve cultivated a really strong relationship with, because I’ve worked with coaches and consultants over many years, and it’s very discouraging when they’ve taken the time, they’ve built this relationship, and that person leaves, and now the new person they have to start from scratch if at all. But sometimes the new person that comes in is attached to a previous vendor. What I’m hearing you say is, “Stay in touch with those people who leave, that you had the great relationship with, because they may bring you in for your services in that new position that they get involved with.”
For me, I have business friends. If I don’t know, like, and trust them, and they don’t know, like, and trust me, there’s a very low probability that we do business together. If it’s not a person that I would like to, and eager to have over to my house for dinner, introduce my family, I brag about them, all those things. If I can’t do that, really my ability to be the best that I can be for them is lessened. It’s still probably more than my competition’s going to be able to do in a lot of cases, but I have a relationship with my customers, they can call me. It might not be about seafood, it might not be about anything, but they just want to call and they just want to share some stuff. That’s really the connection that I have, that I’m most proud of with the people that I work with.
It really comes into the fact that I have, over the years, created this ability and this skill to be able to tell somebody’s story better than they can to themselves. I paraphrase like Wyatt Woodsmall that said, through Eben Pagan, “If you can articulate the needs, desires, challenges, fears, and aspirations of the other person, no matter who that is. Customer, spouse, friend, child, sibling. If you can articulate their needs, desires, challenges, fears and aspirations better than they can. Not better than they can to you, but better than they can to themselves, you pass the tipping point of being their trusted advisor.” Then all you need to do is carry forth with that same conversation with those same attributes, and you’ll be their trusted advisor for life.
When I hear about people that say, “Hey, I used to have this customer, or I used to have this client and then we moved or did this. Something happening and it went away.” In my mind, I don’t understand anything less than clients for life. For me, I’ve had people that just pay me $2,500 a month to keep me on speed dial just to be their trusted advisor because they don’t have to fill in a lot of context with me. They can pick up this conversation. They can be in the middle of a sentence and I already know what they’re talking about, and it’s always-
Yeah. Let’s talk a minute about how you go about being able to articulate their problem better than they can articulate it either to you, or to themselves. What’s your process for getting inside their heads in such a way that you’re able to do that?
It’s very much about, where have they come from. “Hey, how long have you been here?” “Two years.” “Oh, where were you before that?” “I was here.” “Oh, for how long?” “Oh, a couple of years.” “What about before that?” I start to find this commonality of what their path was and to be able to understand where they were leading up to here, right? Because every moment brings us to this moment, and this moment brings us to the next. I find out, I get to know them, and so anytime I’m sharing something with them, they understand in the context of what I’m sharing is that this is them. I’m sharing it about them, because I’m able to utilize where they came from to bring them to where we are today, and show them that they really do understand this.
To be able to tell somebody’s… It’s funny when you can tell somebody’s story better than they can to themselves, and you’ve established that relationship. There’s a funny look on their face when you walk in the room and it’s like they’re almost saying to themselves, “Here he comes. Here comes Jeff. He’s going to tell me a story about my favorite subject. Me. Today. Where am I going to go?” I take this all the way back to…
My mom, who was a super talented woman, and still alive and in her late seventies. She would tell me bedtime stories, but it wouldn’t be out of a book all the time. It would be a story that she would tell about me as the star of the story playing out in front with the kids in the cul-de-sac, and all of a sudden a helicopter landed in the middle of the street and it was my grandpa and he came and picked me up, and we’re going to go fly around the city and look at things from up here. All the kids were like, “Oh my gosh, look at this.” It was so cool that I got to do it and I got to bring friends and whatever.
She would just tell these fantasies that would just be, oh my God, they would just… You’d have these great dreams and all of these things, because that was the last thing. That’s always been a thing that, to be able to tell somebody’s, not just their story, and I’m going to use fantasy just because that’s got so many connotations, and I’m in a messaging place when somebody says, “Oh, well that word has a lot of meanings,” I’m like, “Well, get rid of the word then.” But it’s just to be able to tell this story that makes them feel elevated and feel better about themselves. An experience that they might not have had, but they’ve just experienced it in their mind’s eye.
You’re painting a picture for them of where they aspire to be, but maybe haven’t been able to see themselves there because of their own limited beliefs, perspective, experiences.
Let me tell you. Thursday Night Boardroom, when we’re talking about it, and there’s some questions that we had introduced and we’ve narrowed it down to this compelling introduction that you and I will talk about. But there was, “Who are you? What do you do? Who is your customer? Singular. What is that unique product or service that sets you apart from your competition? How does your customer brag about you? Your client brag about you?” And they mess that up all the time. Then the last one was, “What do you do that makes you the best in the world, in the eyes of your customer or client,” right?
Whatever you’re going to use in this. They go, “Oh, I do this, blah, blah blah, blah.” And it’s like, “Guys, there’s an answer to this, and the answer is, I am you, and I know where you’re going, and I’ve been there before. I know the shortcut on the way, I even know the obstacles you’re going to face. I even know what you’re saying to yourself while you’re on this journey. I know something else. You’re already there, you just don’t know it yet. Let me show you the way.”
When you can impart that, and you don’t say it like that to people, but in your actions and in your conversation. When you can help somebody see themselves as their better self, and then realize that, we’re not future pacing that this is today. You are this person. In any client meeting that I have, anything where I’m dealing with a coach or I’m consulting for a business or whatever, there’s no homework. We finish and you are this new person because this is who you really are. That’s what I wanted to lead to that because you introduce them to their better selves, but the most powerful thing is that it’s their better self right now. They don’t have to do anything. They don’t have to jump through some flaming hoops. They don’t have to do this. All they had to do is just decide, “I am going to become this person now. I am this person, so why not just become?”
That’s great. I love that. Because too often we do think we have to complete some steps to get there, to arrive at this place that’s different than where we are, instead of just peeling back the layers of ridiculous things we’ve said to ourselves or beliefs we’ve adopted and just let those go.
The beauty of what we do at the network, which is our Mastermind Group that we have with my partner Nic Peterson, is the messaging part, the val-you discovery, V-A-L-Y-O-U. We call it the Valyou Discovery Session. Valyou discovery and compelling introduction all come together because I’ll listen to somebody and I’ll listen to them and they’ll start to use words and I’m like, “Define that word. What does that word mean?” Or they want more impact in their life. Well, “What is impact?” “I know I’ve got great impact when…” Give me all the elements. What’s the stuff? What are the ingredients of this thing? Through this discovery process, all of a sudden people start to see in more defined shapes, in more vivid color, who they are truly. Really, to be able to hold up this magic mirror that says, “So you do this?”
I had a guy, Steve Sims…he wrote the book Bluefishing. Number one private concierge in the world. He had a contest for his book and we won the contest, friends of mine and I, and we did a tour of Tesla and then we did a Mastermind session at the bar after. I said, “Let’s do this, introduce yourself with this compelling introduction. ‘My name is blank from blank company, and we provide blank product or service to blank type of clients, so they can have this type of benefit without this kind of hassle.'” I was going through the whole thing and I said, “Let’s just get rid of the jargon, do all this type of stuff.”
The first guy stands up and he says, “My name’s Jay. My partner and I are social philanthropers,” and everybody’s like, “Oh, nice to meet you Jay.” I’m like, “What’s that?” He’s going through this whole thing and I go, “Can you just tell me what you do?” He goes, “Well, we do a couple of things, they both have to do with trees.” I go, “Okay.” He goes, “One of them is, we actually plant trees in inner cities of third world countries that the species of tree actually eats more carbon than regular trees, and so it helps with the environment.” I go, “Oh, so you help the world breathe easier one tree at a time?” He’s like, “Holy, how can I use that?” I’m like, “Yeah, you can, but I want everybody to see what just happened.”
If you sat down after I’m a social philanthroper, that never would’ve come, right? It was that easy helping somebody. Tell me specifically, what are those things that you do? In the messaging, because people want to be articulate, they want to be brief, they’ve got this elevator speech and so they want to come up with all this speech that makes them sound smart. Like Dean Jackson, you can talk about, “Oh we generate leads.” I create customer getting websites. It’s like that’s… people know what that means, and it doesn’t matter who you are. Then it prompts a conversation. That’s where the messaging part comes into. We have this form, and I’d be more than happy to share it with you so you can share it with your listeners. The valyou discovery-
Sure. We can put that on the show notes page on our website.
I’ll send it over to you.
I love that example that you just gave. Thinking about how you work with the folks in this Mastermind Group, as you mentioned, some of them are very high level consultants and coaches. Can you give an example of one or two of the folks there that you’ve helped simplify their message. Just as an example, Jeff, looking at different profiles on LinkedIn and reading people’s headlines in the descriptions. You commonly see phrases like “A proven professional in blah, blah, blah, a proven process…” You have these phrases, and I love what you just said about, “What does that really mean?”
Simplify your message. Give us some more examples of how you’ve taken something more esoteric sounding or conceptual or vague and made it more compelling.
There’s a gentleman that maybe he could be on your show as well. His name’s Bradley Grinnen, and he was one of the first people to join the network. Just a wonderful guy, dear friend now. He was teaching people that had the desire to become a coach, take them from zero to one, and then one to 10, and then they’re off. That’s his job. He introduces himself, right? “My name is Bradley Grinnen.” “From what company?” “From Own Your Life, and we provide, a platform or process to teach people how to become a paid coach and take them from zero clients to one, from one to 10.” I’m like, “Okay.” I’m listening and I go, “Own Your Life. What’s Own Your Life mean?” “Well, once you’re able to do this, you can own your life,” and he’s got this big long explanation. I said, “Okay.” I go, “What’s the brand that you use? What is it?” He goes, “Oh, well, I’m known as the coach launcher.” I’m like, “Okay, get rid of Own Your Life, and ‘My name’s Bradley Grinnen the coach launcher.'” He’s just like, “Oh.”
It was so simple that he then became that. He took off the jacket and the shirt and underneath was the superhero suit. This guy became, right? Not because of that magic moment, but who he became. That we watched his business go from high five figures a month to six figures a month. I mean, I’m sorry, high four figures to five figures a month, and then he had a six figure month four months later. It was just this trajectory. Then all of a sudden he’s just like, “Oh my gosh, now who am I?” Right? We all get there. The greatest stress we can experience is success beyond our vision. The world is lined, the cemeteries are lined with these people. Janis Joplin, people in the entertainment world, that they all of a sudden explode and then succumb to drugs or some other thing, and it becomes scary.
With our Mastermind, the difference in what we do is, you don’t join our Mastermind, you become the center of our universe when you join. He’s like, “Who am I? I don’t know.” Then all of a sudden he’s disconnected and his messaging is getting a little weird. I said, “Listen to me, an entrepreneur alone is an entrepreneur at risk. We’re going to continue to help you understand what you’ve become.” While this message is today, that who you are today, as you continue to evolve, we’re going to allow you to stay grounded with who you are, but be able to have your message evolve with your evolution. That’s really where that messaging becomes super important. Then the positioning. The positioning part is, once you’ve honed down that message, now you place yourself in the lives of your client. But so many people are approaching people from the bleeding neck like, “Oh, I need help with this. I need help.” The first question in my positioning deal, “What was happening in your client’s life five minutes before they even thought they needed help?” Remember I said when I connect with people?
When I connect with somebody in what was their life of… You hear the old, “We all lead lives of quiet desperation.” It’s the things that we just decided to tolerate, and all of those things. We didn’t even ask for help at that point. When somebody can tap into that and really truly connect with somebody where they were before they decided that they needed something, you’ve got a connection with them that will never be permeated. It will never be infiltrated. It is… Or breached I guess is probably then best word.
What would you suggest as an actual strategy for someone to understand that? Do they ask a direct question or how do they discover that?
Well, they do ask, but it’s about asking intelligent questions but easy, right? I go to meet the new person at Cheesecake Factory, who’s the buyer. Now, “Hey, cool. Where were you before here?” “Oh, I was at Trader Joe’s.” “Oh, how long were you Trader Joe’s?” “I was there for three years.” “What were you doing before Trader Joe’s?” “I was in college.” “Well, college to Trader Joe’s, what was the… Tell me about that. Did you get recruited by Trader Joe’s out of college? Were you part of… Did you know somebody?” You learn something about somebody’s history and you can really, really tell how they’re going to move through their future.
You know what else you’re really getting at there, Jeff, even though you haven’t used the word yet, is you’re listening. You’re really-
You’re not just listening, you’re connecting the dots. To me, your brain just works at lightning speed where you ask a question and you’re categorizing it with other things you’ve already gotten from them. I think that, that’s such an important skill and what you’re really doing there is connecting with them on an emotional level. You’re not just gathering facts. My guess is you’re learning more about what was their experience like when they were at this company or that company? So you get a sense of what’s important to them.
Yes, yes. For me it’s not… Meredith, this is just who I am. I didn’t one day go, “Oh I’ve got this evil scheme where I’m going to learn all this stuff about people.” I’ve always been that person.
I’ve always… Oh my gosh. I mean, the history of my family. I’m fourth generation Orange County here in Southern California in food service. Just to embrace my own family’s history, that gives me that confidence of, “This is my house, this is where I am here.” To understand where people have come from and just truly cherish their history and who they are, the foundation of who they are. To me, I don’t want to live another way.
Really think about it. You’re setting yourself apart by even asking those questions because who else bothers to ask them those kinds of questions. To get a sense of their own journey and experiences.
If I was to give myself a label, for me, is evangelist. Every person that I connect with, from a business side or personal side I’m asking those questions pure and simple, because I am so proud of who they are that I want to know more, because I can’t wait to share them with somebody else, right? I mean, think about it. I am in the food service business, right? I’ll go and I’ll speak to a restaurant chain owner or somebody that’s got just a big restaurant or something like that. I’m out there making that call and I’ll say, “Hey, what’s the goal for the customer?” They’re like, “What do you mean, what’s the goal? To have a great meal?” I go, “Really?” “Well to have a memorable dining experience.” You’ve heard that a million times, “We just want you to have a memorable dining experience.” I’ll be like, “So that’s it? A memorable dining experience.” They could just say yes, but if you know me, they’re going, “What Jeff? What?”
I’m like, “How about a remarkable dining experience?” They go, “What the hell is the difference, it’s a memorable, remarkable, whatever.” I go, “No, no, no, no. A remarkable dining experience is an experience that’s so great that they’re literally talking to each other, the people that are having this meal there, or they’re talking to themselves, whatever the case may be. They’re literally talking to each other and saying, ‘Who do we want to bring here next? Who do we want to share this experience with?’ They’re not just willing to do it, they’re eager, and they’re starting to talk about it.”
He goes, “Well, how do I form that?” I go, “You tell them that,” and he goes, “What do you mean?” I go, “You walk up.” You know how a manager walks up, “Hey, how’s the meal?” “Oh, it’s fine.” It’s basically, “Leave us the hell alone.” “Okay, great. I just want you to know that I’m the manager. I’m here. If there’s anything you need from me, I’d be more than happy to help you, but I just want you to know.” Every other manager is going to tell you that they just want you to have a memorable dining experience. They want you to enjoy your meal. “I really want you to have such a great experience here that you’re talking amongst yourselves on who you’re going to bring here next, because it’s been that great.” He’s like, “Then what do you do?” I go, “Walk away. You’ve just anchored that conversation right there. They can’t help but think about that. If they’re having a great experience, that’s exactly what they’re talking about next.”
When we talk about messaging, and people… I love it when I’ll get into these conversations and somebody goes, “That’s just semantics, isn’t it?” I’m like, “Yeah, it is, and it’s the ballgame.” It’s so much-
Words matter. The choice of word does matter. Which is why you work so hard with people to get their messaging as simple as possible. To me, that’s such a huge takeaway for our listeners among many other things. You’ve said, your sharing of all these different experiences, for those who are creative and are always looking at, “How can I up my game?” You’re really stimulating them to think about, “Wow, am I creating a remarkable experience for my clients? Will they talk about me in a good way after I’ve left and done my work with them today? What are they saying? What do I want them to say?” I think that what you’re getting at is being proactive.
Big time. Here’s the scary part. When you really, really are confident in what you’re doing, you could have a client come in and say, “Okay, I want you to help me with my messaging. Here’s who I am, here’s what I do, blah, blah, blah.” If that’s all I was doing in that, because remember the compelling introduction is one part of it. The valyou discovery, and valyou is a word, V-A-L-Y-O-U that represents the most powerful, profitable, and enduring relationships in the world. It’s a language, right? To have a client come into you and say, “This is my message. I need messaging to help me do this.” Through this discovery process, you find that, that’s absolutely not what they should be doing or even want to do. That somebody told them that they should be doing it. That, that’s the next step. That they should be scaling this and making it automatic, and making it where you never have to talk to a client again and do any of that type of stuff.
You watch and see this friction going on, and this discovery process, and it’s like, “Not judging here, but can I just make an observation?” All of a sudden I watch somebody… I’ll be in a valyou discovery and this is how they came in and they leave somebody else. But it was them all along. We just helped them, right? Whether they knew it or not, it was like we just helped them become who they really wanted to be. How powerful is that?
Well, it’s very powerful. When you think of people who are in these various service professions, that’s really their goal is to help people make transformations in whatever area it is that they’re working in. When you think about what is your magic, and of course this is thinking about a magician giving away his secrets, but you’ve shared so many different things. When you are in that discovery mode, what are the things that are going on, whether it’s your questions or the way you interact, or the way you respond that help that person become different during that conversation?
In a lot of ways the delivery, may be a parable or sharing an experience that’s guiding them towards… It’s an experience you share, they go, “Oh, this is like me,” but the story ends with them being something else. You’ve just helped them guide and see, because we can tell stories. I can tell you stories about my first date with my wife and how we went… and you’re going to experience your own experiences that you had in the past, right? You see yourself in these stories. To be able to look and tell, understand where they came from, understand their path, the trajectory of where they’re going, and to be able to create this scenario that helps them really either validate what they’re doing or make that adjustment to who they want to become. But then say it in a way…
Remember, it was Mark Twain said, right? “There’s two reasons why people do stuff. The reason they tell you and the real reason.” Usually the real reason is this person…, right? Meredith, if something great happens today for you, right? Or something particularly crappy happens to you, and you want to talk to somebody, you’re going to call the person that gets you the most, not the person that you have to fill in all this context and all this backstory, right? Because as human beings, as our entire race, we all share the same frustration. We don’t feel understood. We gravitate to those people that understand us. I don’t know where that happened for me, but I understood that the most interesting person in the room is the most interested person in the room.
That people will gravitate to the person that understands them, they will make those phone calls, they will share those intimate details, they feel safe. Now that’s another part about this, right? Every person that’s ever been married or been in a relationship forever knows this. When the relationship went south and you started to have to protect yourself, the single thing happen was you stopped feeling safe, emotionally safe around this person. You felt the need to protect yourself, or the need to defend and go back at them, and all of a sudden things crumble. My wife and I were having that type of relationship back in about 2012 2013 and I just told her, I said, flat out, “We don’t move forward unless we could feel safe with each other again.” That we don’t feel like the Miranda rights, right? Anything I say can and will be used against me, right. The way to understand somebody and make them feel safe in their vulnerability, that person is going to always think about you because you’re always thinking about them.
That’s so powerful, Jeff. Wow. You have shared, to me, some really critical truths here in our conversation about human nature, about relationship, not just relationship building, but relationship maintenance and extension, and really like you said, lifelong relationships. When you go in with that goal and not a transaction to make this sale, or get this contract signed, you have a whole different way of being. You show up differently. You interact differently, and people feel that. They sense that from you. I sense it. I mean it came across, and comes across in the passionate way you talk about what you do. It’s clearly just in every cell of your body. I think that, that is such an important insight for everyone listening here is, because anyone who goes into the service profession where they are providing a service that’s going to be a value to other people, they have a deep sense of caring about others.
Oh, it’s an ache, right? It’s an ache.
This person, I just want so bad. That whole vessel and whatever, the vessel and the lighthouse or whatever that metaphor is. Man, I am a vessel 1000%.
Right? This whole idea, what you have done is you’ve embraced that. You have no reservations with letting that show when you’re with somebody. You want them to know you have a depth of caring about you that’s different from other people. To me, one of the big takeaways today is, for each listener, when they’re thinking of, or when they’re with a client and interacting with them, how can they be that present, that caring, so that they’re not concerned about… Because I never heard you once say is you were concerned about how you were coming across. It’s always, “What can I do for you? How can I help you? Let me learn about you?”
You know what you’ll never hear me say, by the way?
How can I help you? When somebody says that to me… I’m a client, and that’s why the history thing is, because people want to become… Coaches are like, “I want to help this person go to the next level. I want to become part of their future.” I’m going to tell you that you’re never going to truly become part of this person’s future if you have not positioned yourself in part of their past. When somebody comes to me and says, “Hey Jeff, thank you so much for what you’ve done at Thursday Night Boardroom.” I just have one question. “How can I help you?” Right? Magnanimous. Thank you. Right? Thank you.
I’m such an ass. You know what my answer is? “How did you helping me become my burden? Why don’t you just tell me? Watch what’s happened to me in my life. Look at how I behave. Look at… I’m an open freaking book. Look at what I do. Why don’t you tell me how you can help me? What don’t you offer something? Why don’t you give me an observation and say, ‘If I may, I think that I might be able to give you a perspective that might help you through this.'”
But if I’m paying you, especially, and you ask how can you help me, that is the laziest damn question ever, right? We had a Wild Things warehouse sale back in the day. We’d have one Saturday a month where we would sell just awesome restaurant quality seafood and steaks and all this great stuff, and it was so fun to do. I’d cook and we’d just have this great deal. People would walk in at the beginning of this thing, and our assistants would go, “Can I help you with anything?” Right? How many millions of times you’ve heard that? “No thanks. Just looking. No thanks. Just looking.” I’m like, “Okay, we’re going to stop saying, ‘How can I help you? Can I help you with something?’ I want you to ask this, ‘What’s your favorite kind of fish?'” Because now get into a conversation with them. “Are you a fish lover? Do you love steak? What’s your favorite cut of steak?” Get them into that conversation? Words matter. The way we position them matter.
Then we used to sell these awesome insulated bags at the checkout counter. Great ones, huge. I mean, you could have picnics, whatever you could do, beach anything. Or put crap loads of seafood and steak in when you come shop at our place. If you shopped with the bag, if you had the bag, we gave you a free piece of fish at your checkout. “I know you want some, oh here’s salmon.” “Oh, yeah, whatever.” Well you get up to the checkout counter and I go, “Hey, would you like to buy an insulated bag?” “No, I’m good.” I go, “We need to stop doing that. You want to become part of the free fish in the month club?” “How do I do that? Yeah. Free fish in the month? Absolutely.” “Oh, well you just buy one of these bags for 9.95 and then every time you come back and shop here, we’re going to give you a free piece of fish. As a matter of fact, when you buy it today, we’re going to give you a free piece of salmon. You pay for that bag in three visits.” “Yeah, absolutely.”
I would sell out so fast, Meredith, those bags, that I would get a new shipment of bags in, like 100 bags, and I’d send an email out on a Thursday. Now we know how fast email… it doesn’t work very fast. Text message? Yeah. Okay. You’re going to get an answer. Email, you got to be a little patient. I would send an email out. I was so connected with this group, this customer base that we had, our family that I would send the thing out, and I would explain the new bag we got in, and it was people that had already bought bags, right? “The new bag and, oh my gosh, this one, we’ve bench tested it, it has got 200 pounds.” Not that you’ll ever lift 200 pounds, but 200 pounds. You can pull on this thing. You can drag it behind your car it’s not going to…
Within an hour, we would almost sell out of the bags. I’d forget to tell the people in the office that I’d sent the email. I go, “You need to call in, because we’re going to run out this Saturday. If you’re not going to be there right when we open, you’re going to run out.” People would call in and you’d hear this, “Jeff, did you send another email?”
But it was all about the position and the story, and helping people become part of the story and be able to do things. You see this thing behind us, right? You got banners and my wife’s got her college prep counseling business. Before we even started the business, before the business was even a thing, I already knew the lead magnet, the white paper we were going to do. I was like, “What can we do to make people absolutely feel that they have to have this information?” First thing I even thought of, because how are we going to tap in to the parents on this? Because they’re the customer, right? The lead magnet is College Prep and the High School Experience: 10 Things Parents Wished They Would Have Known Before it was Too Late. You don’t even have to be a parent at that time. You’re like, “What are they?” Right? It’s so funny because the other day my wife’s like, “Yeah, 10 things parents should know.” I go, “No, that’s not the title.” She’s like, “What?” I go, “Dream.”
That’s perfect NLP. You really need to understand that every word that’s in there is super important. Like you talked about, words matter. We so badly want to be expedient in our delivery, whether it’s our own desire to get the hell out of this conversation or hoping that somebody else wants to get the hell out of it. If we’re not impactful, we then go to expedient and so much stuff gets missed
Really, what you’ve gotten at there to me with talking about the title and your emails, and the different questions that you ask. It, to me, all comes together as engagement. What’s going to evoke curiosity on their part? They want to be a part of it, they want to know more, and you’re just a master at that. I’m glad you shared all those different individual situations because they stimulate our own thinking about, “How could we do something similar in our business? What does it take to get that kind of response like you did with your bags selling out? What’s our equivalent of that?” People listening to this, there’s so much richness here from what Jeff has shared, and it’s worth listening to more than once because we are in different places at different times. When you think about…
Really, what you’ve talked about today, Jeff, applies in two parallel tracks for our listeners. In one is for them individually, for their own development, their own journey as an entrepreneur, as a coach, as a consultant. Then as they are meeting with their clients thinking about these very same things and applying them to that relationship they want to establish, so they become the only choice person. I mean just listening to you and thinking about how much you really love the people who you have done business with. You care deeply about them, and they know that. Our individual challenges are, how can we do that with our own clients? You’ve given so much richness today. Is there anything else that you might’ve thought of as an additional tip as we wrap up here? Then I’ll ask you to share how people can connect with you and learn more about you.
I would just… In every engagement that you have, search for something that excites you about the person that you’re talking to. Search for that thing that really, truly makes you light up. When somebody can see that you light up about them, that’s a very attractive thing. I mean, look at me, I’m not a very good looking man, but I married a beautiful wife and there’s got to be something that works in this type of thing because she’s my best friend. I’m so proud of her. She looks at her private practice, not like a job, but like her ministry. I think that for what I lack in physical attributes, I make up for in just the absolute way I love the people I’m dealing with. That’s just me being a little self-deprecating, but
No, what you just said is pure gold, because I think sometimes we’re too quick to brush off somebody as possibly not interesting or not clicking with us, when it’s really up to us to find that thing like you just said. That’s wonderful. Because we all have it. Every human being wants to be recognized, you said understood, but also recognized
No doubt. No doubt. Yeah, the recognition is such a beautiful thing too.
It is. Tell people where they can connect with you and find you either on social media, on your website.
Well, social media, I guess you could just find me at Jeff Moore on Facebook. Thursday Night Boardroom is my free connection. We’re on Facebook there, you can ask to join there. Go to thursdaynightboardroom.com, but if you want to elevate this relationship, there’s a couple of steps, masterymode.com, where you can join the Vault or The Network. Those are my partners, Nic Peterson and Dan Giuglianotti. They’re just a brilliant group of guys, and they invited me in and we created this thing called The Network and it’s these high end service providers that… Where, as a matter of fact, we have a retreat that starts tomorrow. It’ll go Friday, Saturday, and part of Sunday. But people have us as their support system. Masterymode.com, as far as marketing and outward marketing and things, we’re so hell bent on that organic connection that there’s not this funnel. We don’t believe in funnels anyway. We believe that, because funnels need gravity, we need to be able to, through engagement, help elevate people through the process.
Oh, I love that.
Masterymode.com you can get ahold of us, but heck, if you want to email me and tell me, “Hey, this was great,” or, “Boy, I wish you would have slowed down,” or something like that. You can get a hold of me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Excellent. Thank you. Well, Jeff, it’s been so much fun to watch you in action, listen to you in action with your energy, your passion, and your commitment to really elevating other people, and I want to thank you for your commitment to do that.
Well, thank you so much, Meredith. I’m so glad that you and I have connected again, and you’re just doing some great work. I can’t wait to introduce more people to you to be on your show, because I just think that this is going to be an awesome.
Oh, thank you. Well, I look forward to talking to you again soon. Thank you, Jeff.