354: Tilting Futures: Empowering Young Adults to Lead

354: Tilting Futures: Empowering Young Adults to Lead

354: Tilting Futures: Empowering Young Adults to Lead

What if young people learned to lead by tackling real-world problems instead of waiting for “someday”? In this inspiring conversation, you’ll meet Erin Lewellen, CEO of Tilting Futures, an organization that empowers youth around the globe to step into leadership through immersive, purpose-driven experiences. Erin shares how her own background—as a coach, educator, and social entrepreneur—shaped her belief that true learning happens through action, reflection, and collaboration.

You’ll hear how Tilting Futures’ Take Action Lab program helps students engage with human rights or environmental issues through apprenticeships, academic learning, and community impact. Meredith and Erin explore how these hands-on opportunities give participants clarity about their purpose, confidence in their abilities, and the courage to take on global challenges. Erin also reveals how her team fosters healthy disagreement, emotional awareness, and curiosity—skills essential for every leader who wants to create positive change.

Erin has been with an exceptional organization called Tilting Futures for 11 years, and she has served as CEO for the past 3 years. Before joining Tilting Futures, Erin was Vice President of School Partnerships for Revolution Foods and served as Bay Area Director for Playworks. For 20 years, she coached the Varsity Girls’ Basketball team at Emery High, and she’s an avid supporter of girls in sports.

You’ll discover:

  • How global immersion helps young people build resilience, empathy, and leadership skills
  • Why “tilt moments” transform self-doubt into personal growth and confidence
  • How to make education more relevant through experiential learning
  • The power of emotional intelligence and healthy disagreement in team dynamics
  • How curiosity fuels innovation and learning from mistakes

Watch the episode:

Connect with Erin

      

Erin’s Website

Tilting Futures

Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Apple Podcasts
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Leader-team communication and character skills

Grow Strong Character

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.

Connect with Your Team Book - Grow Strong Leaders

Connect with Your Team

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell
Connect with Your Team Book - Grow Strong Leaders

Peer Coaching Made Simple

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell

Lift People Up with Constructive Feedback

Lift People Up with Constructive Feedback

LIFT PEOPLE UP WITH CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK

By Dr. Denny Coates

Have you ever noticed someone doing something ineffective, unauthorized, inconsiderate, dangerous, or even illegal? Maybe you felt the urge to confront them. Maybe you were so surprised and upset that you reacted emotionally, expressing your dismay with a harsh comment. In other words, with criticism, instead of constructive feedback.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Why did you do that?”

“That wasn’t very smart….”

“I’ve told you I don’t know how many times…?” 

Nobody Is Perfect

While it’s perfectly natural to get upset with behavior that disappoints or offends you, people react badly to criticism. Sometimes a person has good intentions but has forgotten what is expected or is so distracted that they make a mistake. No one is perfect. Also, criticism fails to acknowledge the possibility that the person you’re trying to correct may well “get it right” most of the time. So it’s human nature for the recipient to resent the implication that they are inadequate or flawed in some way. This is why criticism is usually perceived as a personal attack rather than helpful input.

And yet, pointing out problem behavior is almost always the responsible thing to do.

Begin and conclude your feedback with positives. This is what makes feedback constructive.

What’s needed is a way to communicate the kind of feedback that inspires someone to do their best. Because it purposefully reinforces the other person’s strengths, this approach is called constructive feedback. It goes like this:

  • Pause before reacting: “When you feel upset and want to criticize, take two deep breaths. That short pause helps you respond calmly so the other person stays open to hearing you.”
  • Lead with a positive: “I’ve noticed how effective you are when speaking with our clients. That confidence builds trust and makes them eager to work with us.”
  •  Describe the problem behavior: “This morning I overheard you explaining our onboarding process. Instead of describing how we do it, you focused on the problems with other approaches, which could leave clients unsure about our own value.”
  •  Conclude with the consequence: “When negatives are emphasized, customers may feel confused or even doubtful. Clear, positive explanations keep their confidence strong.”
  •  Respond with listening: If the person reacts strongly to your feedback, take time to listen and understand their perspective. This shows respect and often helps them accept your input more fully.
  •  State the behavior you want: “I’ve seen you get excellent results when you spotlight our innovative approach. When you do that, customers quickly see the advantages of choosing us.”
  •  Finish with encouragement: “Yesterday I heard you highlight how our onboarding process saves clients time, and you explained it with real enthusiasm. When you focus on our strengths, customers feel confident they made the right choice with us.”

The "Feedback Sandwich"

The idea is to begin and conclude your feedback with positives. This is what makes feedback constructive. With practice, constructive feedback will become your go-to alternative to criticism.

You can learn more about listening to understand and constructive feedback —two very powerful skills described in the how-to book, Connect with Your Team: Mastering the Top 10 Communication Skills.

Connect with Your Team

Mastering the Top 10 Communication Skills

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,  and Meredith M. Bell

How to Learn from Experience

How to Learn from Experience

How to Learn from Experience

By Dr. Denny Coates

People who eventually become managers typically don’t come to the workplace with leadership skills such as effective communication and character strength. They have to learn from experience. Their challenge is to replace old habits with more effective ones. Books like Connect with Your Team describe how to perform these skills, but acquiring them takes lots of on-the-job practice. As coaches always say, “You gotta get your reps.”

So, work itself can be a time of growth, a time for learning. It is said that experience is a great teacher. But learning doesn’t automatically follow experience. You can have a significant event—whether positive or negative—and move on to the next challenge without learning a thing.

 

How to Guarantee Learning from Experience

The key is to think about what happened—to analyze the experience.

When you get the feeling, “Well, that didn’t go well,” give yourself a time-out break and ask yourself these questions, in roughly this order:

  1. What happened? Who did what? What was the sequence of events?
  2. Why did it happen this way? Why did it happen? What caused the result? What went wrong—or right?
  3. What were the consequences? What was the impact? How did you feel about the outcome? Benefits? Costs?
  4.  What could you do differently in the future? What lessons did you learn?

Learn from Both Successes and Failures

Life is an amazing succession of experiences. You can learn from all of them. These four questions will help you transform a poorly handled situation into a plan that will enable your success going forward. I recommend that you make a habit of analyzing whatever happened, whether it was a success or a failure. To make the lessons stick, I suggest recording your thoughts.

Learn from Experience

When coaching others, you can encourage them to learn from their experiences by asking them the above questions.

Learning doesn’t automatically follow experience.
It’s possible to move from one event to the next without learning a thing.”

Good things happen, and you can build on your success. Things can go wrong, too, and you can try something different next time. But you won’t learn the lesson if you don’t think about what happened.

Connect with Your Team is your how-to guide for working on leader-team communication skills and is a key resource in the leader development system, Grow Strong Leaders.

Connect with Your Team

Mastering the Top 10 Communication Skills

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,  and Meredith M. Bell

330: Coaching Character as the Foundation of Leadership

330: Coaching Character as the Foundation of Leadership

330: Coaching Character as the Foundation of Leadership

What if the real secret to great leadership isn’t found in strategy or skill, but in the strength of your character? This conversation with Dane Deutsch explores how character forms the true foundation of leadership, shaped by his own family values, military service, and years of leading diverse teams.

Through stories from the Air Force and his own experience as a CEO, Dane reveals why caring for people and building trust matter more than any title or technique. His insights show that whether you’re coaching athletes, running a business, or guiding a community, authentic leadership always begins with character.

Dane also introduces the “tricycle effect,” illustrating how qualities like trustworthiness, respect, and responsibility steer both personal and professional growth. From practical tools for self-coaching to the power of empathy and humility, you’ll come away inspired to strengthen your own character skills, build genuine connections, and lead with heart in every area of life.

Dane was a Commander in the US Air Force and first applied character skills in the military. He’s the CEO of LMDC Academy, which stands for Leadership Management and Development in Character. Over the past 40 years, he’s coached and trained athletes, businesses, and teams. Dane owned a cybersecurity company and sold it in 2020. He’s also taught classes on cybersecurity at the university level. He and his wife own a gymnastics training center for pre-k to high school students, and character is the #1 skill they teach, followed by leadership, and then technical skills. Dane’s most recent book is titled Coach-Ability and The Tricycle Effect: Coaching Character as the Foundation of Leadership.

You’ll discover:

  • Why character skills are the true foundation of great leadership
  • How self-talk and body posture can help you manage anxiety and boost confidence
  • The “tricycle effect” and how it can guide your personal and professional growth
  • Real stories about empathy, humility, and the power of being coachable
  • Practical ways to develop trust, respect, and authentic connections in any area of your life

Watch the episode:

 

Connect with Dane

    

Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Apple Podcasts
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Spotify
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Amazon
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Pandora
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on YouTube
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on iheartradio
Leader-team communication and character skills

Grow Strong Character

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.

Connect with Your Team Book - Grow Strong Leaders

Connect with Your Team

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell
Connect with Your Team Book - Grow Strong Leaders

Peer Coaching Made Simple

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell

329: Being a Force for Good in the World

329: Being a Force for Good in the World

329: Being a Force for Good in the World

What if the real key to powerful leadership is tuning in to your inner wisdom? Coco Sellman brings this idea to life by sharing how listening to that quiet inner voice and acting with integrity can transform not just your own journey, but also the lives of those you lead. Through stories of founding multiple companies and guiding teams through challenges like the pandemic, Coco highlights how self-leadership, reinvention, and daily rituals help unlock personal and professional growth.

You’ll learn how transformational leadership goes beyond innovation, creating environments where people are genuinely empowered to grow and contribute their unique strengths. Coco’s insights into finding one’s “highest and best use” offer a fresh perspective on aligning daily actions with greater purpose. From nurturing nurses to redefining high-performance cultures, this episode is packed with wisdom for anyone seeking to lead with heart, clarity, and impact.

Coco is such a big believer in the idea that business is a force for good that she founded and is the CEO of a company called A Force for Good. Her focus is to support purpose-driven women founders in unlocking exponential growth and prosperity. Coco is well qualified for this role. She has more than 25 years of entrepreneurial experience, has launched five companies, and guided over 500 startups.

Her recent venture, Allumé Home Care, reached eight-figure revenues and seven-figure profits in just four years before a successful exit in 2024. Coco’s book, A Force for Good, offers a detailed roadmap that inspires societal change through women-led enterprises.

You’ll discover:

  • How to tap into and trust your inner wisdom
  • The difference between simple change, innovation, and true transformation
  • Practical ways to identify your “highest and best use”
  • Why nurturing and valuing team members fuels growth
  • Strategies for building collaborative, high-purpose organizations

Watch the episode:

 

Connect with Coco

      

Related Podcast Episodes

260: Discover the Matrix with Integrity

 

Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Apple Podcasts
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Spotify
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Amazon
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on Pandora
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on YouTube
Listen to the Grow Strong Leaders Podcast on iheartradio
Leader-team communication and character skills

Grow Strong Character

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.

Connect with Your Team Book - Grow Strong Leaders

Connect with Your Team

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell
Connect with Your Team Book - Grow Strong Leaders

Peer Coaching Made Simple

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell

Emerging Leaders Need Skills

Emerging Leaders Need Skills

EMERGING LEADERS NEED SKILLS

By Dr. Denny Coates

Leadership is the ability to guide and empower a group toward achieving a key organizational goal. Being successful requires judgment, decision-making, and responsibility while inspiring teamwork, trust, and motivation. Emerging leaders need to learn these skills.

“Knowing what to do isn’t the same as being able to do it.”

Skills vs. Concepts

Recognizing the need for productive teams, many organizations have created programs to introduce emerging leaders to fundamental leadership concepts and principles. Even many business schools are now offering courses in leadership.

Traditionally, instructors share basic concepts and principles with emerging leaders and assume that learners will understand them, remember them, and apply them on the job.

The problem: knowing what to do isn’t the same as being able to do it. Concepts and principles, as important as they are, are not the same as skills.

Practice: The Key to Skill Mastery

Simulated classroom exercises can be great introductions to new skills, but they are inadequate for actually establishing the skills. Skill mastery requires repeated application in real-world situations, which can’t happen in the classroom. Over time, many repetitions of a behavior stimulate the brain cells involved in the skill to connect with each other. This impact on the brain causes a circuit of interconnected brain cells to form that enables the behavior to become an automatic response.

Because of this need for repetition, mastering leadership skills is like acquiring the skills needed for competitive sports. For example, it takes extraordinary skill for a player to hit a baseball rocketing towards him at 90 miles per hour. The batter has no time to analyze the pitch and think about the best way to make effective contact with the ball. The necessary skills have to be automatic, established during months of practice.

In exactly the same way, leaders often have little time to think about the best way to react. They need to have invested a lot of time using the skills at work to engage with people effectively.

Replacing Old Habits with New Skills is Challenging

The challenge for an emerging leader is that old habits for dealing with people compete with efforts to replace these behavior patterns with more effective ones. Pressured by the challenges of work, a manager might be tempted to go with what has come to feel familiar. The failure to apply what they have learned can be discouraging. They may conclude that the new skills are so different and uncomfortable that they aren’t a good fit for them, so they give up on the sustained effort to improve.

Classroom training is not enough.

Coaching Encourages Emerging Leaders

Because the path towards mastery inevitably includes many such frustrations, coaching is a vital ingredient for replacing old habits. Coaching helps an emerging leader to be held accountable, to be asked about what was learned from failures, and to receive encouragement.

In short, instruction can impart knowledge, but skill-building requires a dedicated, long-term follow-up. Coaching is important to develop leaders at all levels, so an economical solution is for the leaders to coach each other. With this kind of peer support, emerging leaders are more likely to continue doing the work that leads to mastery.

The ideal leadership development program, then, not only offers excellent introductions to the best practices, but it also supports what needs to happen afterwards: a long-term program of on-the-job application to establish essential skills involved in interpersonal communication and character strength. As leaders practice the most effective ways of connecting with members of their team, they create effective action while nurturing leader-team relationships.

Learn more about Essential Leadership skills for emerging leaders in Connect with Your Team.

Connect with Your Team Book - Grow Strong Leaders

Connect with Your Team

Dennis E. Coates, Ph.D.,
and Meredith M. Bell